Get the Phone
by helfanzoefan
Summary: COMPLETED! Mahandra has a problem, well more like a situation okay a dilemma and Jaye is forced to come to the rescue.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Welcome to my first Wonderfalls Fanfic. Please leave lots of reviews. If this receives a warm welcome there will be other stories to follow. This story takes place about a month after the episode _Caged Bird._

This is written in screenplay format with a little modifications to make it easier to read.

BTW: SOTTO - means the line is spoken very softly to themselves or another character.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to others who are not me. There is no intention of copyright infringement. I just want to have fun with characters from a show I miss terribly.

INT. JAYE'S TRAILER -- DAY

Jaye opens her front door. Eric is standing on her doorstep with a brown paper bag and a bright goofy grin.

ERIC: I brought champagne.

He steps into the trailer. Jaye shuts the door behind him.

JAYE: It'll go great with the chips and popcorn.

Eric puts the champagne in the refrigerator.

JAYE (CON'T): You weren't expecting dinner or anything were you?

ERIC: No, I just brought champagne.

He waggles his eyebrows and gives Jaye and even wider grin.

JAYE: Oh.

Eric leads the way to Jaye's bedroom area. She picks up a bowl of popcorn and a bag of chips before following him. Eric plops down on the bed and leans back on one arm. Jaye puts the snacks in the middle of the bed and grabs the remote. Eric grabs Jaye and the kissing begins. She pulls away smiling.

JAYE (CON'T): I thought we were going to watch TV?

Eric sits back on the bed and grabs a handful of popcorn.

ERIC: So what are we going to watch?

Jaye flips through the channels while Eric moves closer and wraps his arms around her.

JAYE: I figure with several hundred channelswe'll be able to find something.

CUT TO:

INT - WONDERFALLS PHARMACY -- DAY

Mahandra is standing in the feminine hygiene aisle face to face with several dozen different brands of pregnancy tests.

MAHANDRA: Great.

She bends down and picks up a test from a lower shelf and begins to read the box. Behind her heavy, somewhat labored breathing can be heard.

MAHANDRA (CON'T): (sotto) What the --

She turns around and finds "the mouth breather" standing on the same aisle with his back toward her. She hurriedly stuffs the box back on the shelf, knocking a few over in the process. Alec turns around. He has a box of condoms in his hand.

ALEC: Hey.

MAHANDRA: Hi.

Mahandra tries to use her body to obscure what she was looking at. Alec looks down at the condoms in his hands. He puts them back on the shelf and picks up a box of Magnum condoms. He leaves carefully avoiding eye contact with Mahandra.

MAHANDRA (CON'T): You wish.

Mahandra turns around and picks up another test. This one is a double pack, two tests in one box. She starts to walk toward the checkout line. In the far right lane an older African American woman is putting her purchases on the counter.

MAHANDRA (CON'T): Oh no.

She quickly puts the box behind her back and heads to the express lane where she finds Sharon buying an obscene amount of peanut butter.

MAHANDRA (CON'T): You've got to be kidding me.

She stuffs the box on a display of cereal and discreetly walks out of the store.

INT - JAYE'S TRAILER -- DAY

Jaye and Eric are making out furiously on the bed. Popcorn and chips have been knocked to the floor. Eric flips Jaye over on the bed so that he now has the upper hand. The volume of the television suddenly begins to increase. Jaye sits up knocking Eric off of her.

JAYE: I'm on the remote.

She pulls the remote from under her and turns down the volume. Eric peers over the side of the bed.

ERIC: I think we made a mess.

Jaye looks at the popcorn and chip mixture spread over floor.

JAYE: I'm not cleaning that up, alone.

ERIC: It can wait.

Eric tosses the remote to the other side of the bed. He leans in for a kiss. The wax lion on the night stand animates and looks at Jaye.

WAX LION: Get the phone.

Jaye smiles at Eric and speaks softly through her teeth.

JAYE: It's not ringing.

Eric stops his dramatic "lean in for the kiss" and sits up.

ERIC: Did you say something?

Jaye shakes her head.

JAYE: No, nothing at all.

Eric continues his descent to Jaye's lips. Before he can reach his final destination all the muses in the trailer animate and yell:

MUSES: Get the phone!

Which startles Jaye causing her to flip backwards off the bed. She immediately jumps up and brushes the front of her clothes off.

JAYE: I'm okay.

She calmly starts walking to the front of her trailer. The back of her clothes are sprinkled with popcorn.

ERIC: Where are you going?

JAYE: Uh, to-- to get some champagne?

Eric jumps off the bed and follow her. Jaye picks up the phone while on her way to the refrigerator.

ERIC: Is something wrong, because all of a sudden you're all uptight.

JAYE: Uptight? Me? No.

She opens the refrigerator and bends down to get the champagne. Eric takes this opportunity to brush the popcorn off the back of Jaye's pants. She jumps and hits her head on the top of the refrigerator.

JAYE (CON'T): Ow.

Eric stifles a laugh.

ERIC: You had some popcorn on you.

JAYE: Thanks.

Jaye hands Eric the bottle of champagne.

ERIC: I'm not trying to pressure you. We can just go back in there and watch TV, no kissing.

Jaye puts the phone on the counter and turns around and begins to wash two glasses in the sink.

JAYE: You're not pressuring me and I kind of liked the kissing. It's just --

She turns back around to him.

ERIC: We've never talked about it.

JAYE: Right. And I'm not prepared for it. You?

ERIC: Prepared?

Jaye nods.

ERIC (CONT'D): Well -- no.

JAYE: See! And lack of preparedness can lead toall sorts of consequences, consequences that

I am no way ready for.

Jaye picks up the phone and cradles it in her arms. Eric smiles.

ERIC: I understand. You expecting a call?

JAYE: Huh?

He motions to the phone in her arms. Jaye looks around the trailer. Multiple pairs of inanimate eyes are trained on her.

JAYE (CONT'D): No?

The phone rings startling Jaye. She almost drops it.

JAYE (CONT'D): Well maybe I am.

Jaye answers the phone and puts it up to her ear.

JAYE (CONT'D): Hello? (pause) Mahandra?

A car can be heard outside crunching on the gravel and garbage that litter the trailer park.

ERIC: I think someone's outside.

He walks to the window.

JAYE: (to the phone) Where are you?

She joins Eric at the window. The look out together.

EXT/INT -- MAHANDRA'S CAR

Mahandra sits in a car in front of Jaye's trailer with her cell phone to her ear. She is haphazardly parked across the grass and the engine is running. She gives a short wave when she sees Eric and Jaye's faces appear in the window. They wave back.

INT -- JAYE'S TRAILER

Jaye steps away from the window. The phone is still to her ear.

JAYE: Right now?

Eric follows Jaye back into the kitchen.

JAYE (CONT'D): (whines) But I have company.

Jaye holds the phone away from her ear. The faint, but distinct sound of Mahandra yelling can be heard through the phone. Eric gives Jaye a questioning look. Jaye shrugs and puts the phone back to her ear.

JAYE (CONT'D): Okay. I'm coming -- right now.

She hangs up the phone and puts it down.

JAYE: See, Mahandra is having some sort of crisis and she needs me to come with her -- somewhere.

ERIC: (whines playfully) But, champagne.

Eric waves the bottle in front of her face. She grabs it from him and puts it back in the refrigerator.

JAYE: I know, but she called in every favor I've ever owed her. And believe me that's

a lot. From ages 16 to 18 alone.

Eric pouts.

JAYE (CONT'D): Don't do that. I have to go.

Jaye grabs her purse and jacket and goes to the door. She turns around and gives Eric one last look. Yeah, the pout is still there. A small stuffed puffer fish hangs on a hook near the door. It animates.

PUFFER FISH: Go!

Jaye turns toward the fish with a crazed look in her eyes. She speaks softly through gritted teeth.

JAYE: I'm going.

She opens the door and doesn't look back.

JAYE: (to Eric) Lock the door when you leave.

She closes the door behind her.

EXT -- JAYE'S TRAILER

Jaye walks out of the trailer and toward Mahandra's car.

INT/EXT -- MAHANDRA'S CAR

Jaye opens the car door and plops down into the front passenger seat. She crosses her arms and pouts. Mahandra looks at her.

MAHANDRA: Put on your seatbelt.

Jaye snatches the seatbelt across her body and fastens it. Mahandra shakes her head.

JAYE: What?

Mahandra puts the car and gear. Jaye grips the armrest as tires spin on rocks and the car shoots out of the trailer park.

INT/EXT -- MAHANDRA'S CAR -- WONDERFALLS PHARMACY

Mahandra and Jaye sit in the car in the parking lot of the Wonderfalls Pharmacy. Jaye stares at Mahandra with her mouth open and eyes wide in shock. Mahandra pushes her a little trying to break her stare.

MAHANDRA: Say something.

Jaye blinks slowly.

JAYE: Oh _my_ God. Oh my _God_! Oh--

MAHANDRA: Something other than that.

JAYE: Are you sure?

MAHANDRA: No, that's why I need you.

Jaye looks at Mahandra. She's confused. Mahandra takes a twenty dollar bill from her pocket and hands it to Jaye. Mahandra nods toward the pharmacy. Jaye takes the twenty and looks at it horrified.

JAYE: I'm not going in there and buying you a-- (whispers) pregnancy test.

MAHANDRA: Yes, you are.

JAYE: No, people might think its for me.

MAHANDRA: Ha! No one's going to think that.

JAYE: What? I could be getting some.

MAHANDRA: (sarcastic) Right.

Mahandra pushes a button and unlocks the car doors.

MAHANDRA (CONT'D): Go.

Jaye pushes down the lock on her door.

JAYE: Why don't you go in with me. I'll be there for support.

MAHANDRA: Tried that, kept running into people. My Dad's secretary, mouth breather, even

Sharon. What's up with the peanut butter? She was like buying ten jars.

Jaye shrugs.

JAYE: Aaron!

Mahandra jumps and looks around wildly.

MAHANDRA: Where!

JAYE: Not here.

She receives a deadly look from Mahandra.

JAYE (CONT'D): But he should be. Did you tell him?

MAHANDRA: No! There will be no telling Aaron anything! At least until I know if there's something

to tell. Until then, tell no one!

Jaye scoots away from her a bit.

JAYE: Okay, calm down. You're getting all crazy, it's freaking me out.

Jaye pockets the twenty, unlocks the door, and gets out of the car. She takes a few steps toward the store then stops and looks back. Mahandra motions for her to keep going. Jaye continues to the door.

INT - WONDERFALLS PHARMACY

Jaye walks into the store. She looks around before heading into the feminine hygiene aisle.

INT/EXT - PHARMACY PARKING LOT

Mahandra sits in her car clutching the steering wheel. She stares into to space. Eric walks past the car. He stops and comes back.

ERIC: Hey.

He waves. Mahandra stares right through him. Eric walks over to the driver side and knocks on the window. Mahandra jumps. She looks up at him and rolls down the window.

ERIC (CONT'D): Hey.

MAHANDRA: Hi.

She rolls back up the window and returns to her staring.

ERIC: Okay.

He steps back and walks toward the store.

INT - WONDERFALLS PHARMACY

Jaye is face to face with dozens of different brands of pregnancy tests. She picks one up and looks at it. It's a double pack.

JAYE: Looks good to me.

ERIC (O.S.): Fancy meeting you here.

Jaye turns around.

JAYE: Eric!

He smiles and walks over to the display of condoms. He picks up a box.

ERIC: Prepared.

Jaye nods.

JAYE: Good.

Eric walks over to her and pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. He looks down at the pregnancy test in her hands. He gets that "I'm going to pass out" look in his eyes. He looks from the box to her face several times.

ERIC: Jaye?

Jaye remembers the box in her hands.

JAYE: Oh!

ERIC: Is there something you want to tell me?

JAYE: No. It's not mine. Not for me.

ERIC: Then who?

JAYE: A friend.

Eric's jaw drops.

JAYE (CONT'D): What?

ERIC: (whispers) Mahandra's pregnant?

JAYE: Don't know yet. I mean no. It's not for her. It's another friend.

ERIC: You don't have any other friends. That would explain why she was crazy in the parking lot.

JAYE: Don't tell anyone. She'd kill me, literally.

ERIC: My lips are sealed.

He steps forward and kisses her on the forehead.

ERIC (CONT'D): You're a good friend. Call you later.

JAYE: Bye.

Jaye smiles as she watches his retreating form. The horse on a package of Trojan condoms animates and looks at Jaye.

TROJAN HORSE: Get the phone.

Jaye walks over to it and picks it up.

JAYE: I don't have a phone. (pause) Oh!

A store clerk walks up behind Jaye and clears his throat. Jaye turns around.

CLERK: Can I help you with something?

Jaye turns around.

JAYE: I'm fine.

She puts the package back on the shelf.

JAYE (CONT'D): Hey, is there a phone I can use.

CLERK: At the customer service desk.

JAYE: Thanks.

Jaye walks toward the desk.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Welcome to my first Wonderfalls Fanfic. Please leave lots of reviews. If this receives a warm welcome there will be other stories to follow. This story takes place about a month after the episode _Caged Bird._

This is written in screenplay format with a little modifications to make it easier to read.

BTW: SOTTO - means the line is spoken very softly to themselves or another character.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to others who are not me. There is no intention of copyright infringement. I just want to have fun with characters from a show I miss terribly.

EXT/INT - WONDERFALLS PHARMACY PARKING LOT

Mahandra sits in the car still clutching the steering wheel. Eric walks past the car. He smiles and waves. Jaye walks up to the car shortly after Eric passes. Jaye gets into the car.

JAYE: Mission accomplished. She hands Mahandra the bag.

MAHANDRA: You told him didn't you?

JAYE: No! (pause) Wait, him who?

MAHANDRA: Eric.

JAYE: (softly) No.

MAHANDRA: I can't believe you.

JAYE: He saw me buying it and he knew it wasn't for me. So, being that you are the only friend I have, he naturally assumed.

MAHANDRA: (sarcastic) Great.

JAYE: Who's he going to tell? He doesn't talk to anyone buy us anyhow.

MAHANDRA: True.

Mahandra opens the bag and looks at the test.

MAHANDRA (CONT'D): I guess we can do this at my place.

JAYE: No! (hesitantly) I don't like the way your cat has been looking at me lately.

MAHANDRA: You sat on him. What do you expect?

Jaye shrugs.

JAYE: You can do it at my place. It's closer.

MAHANDRA: Whatever.

Mahandra starts the car and pulls off.

EXT -- JAYE'S TRAILER

Mahandra pulls her car up to Jaye's door. Jaye grabs the bag and gets out of the car. Mahandra opens her door and stands up. A car pulls up just behind her, blocking any escape. Aaron gets out of the car and slams the door.

AARON: What is so important that I had to drop everything and rush over here!

Mahandra glares at Jaye befoe jumping back into the car and locking all the doors. Aaron looks dumbfounded. Jaye walks over to him and thrusts the bag in his hands. He looks in it and then at Jaye.

JAYE: Ew no. It's not mine.

She nods toward Mahandra. His dumbfounded look is compounded.

AARON: (weakly) What?

JAYE: Talk to her.

Jaye walks to her trailer and goes in. Aaron walks to the passenger side of Mahandra's car and tries to open the door. It is locked. Aaron knocks on the window.

AARON: Open the door.

Mahandra has her forehead on the steering wheel.

MAHANDRA: No.

AARON: Well at least look at me then.

Mahandra shakes her head.

AARON (CONT'D): I'm not going to talk to you about this through a window.

MAHANDRA: Nothing to talk about. Thanks for coming, bye.

Jaye steps out of her trailer.

JAYE: Hey!

Mahandra and Aaron look up at her. Jaye tosses Aaron a set of keys and goes back inside.

MAHANDRA: Damn it! I forgot I gave her those.

Aaron catches the keys and unlocks the driver side door. He kneels down to her eye level.

AARON: Hey.

Mahandra looks at him.

MAHANDRA: Hi.

INT -- JAYE'S TRAILER -- CONTINUOUS

Jaye looks out of the blinds at the scene going on in her front yard.

JAYE: Aw.

She quickly moves away from the door moments before the door opens. Mahandra and Aaron walk in.

MAHANDRA: You are so dead.

She takes off her jacket and tosses it on a chair.

JAYE: (meekly) I know.

Jaye walks over to the refrigerator. Mahandra follows.

MAHANDRA: (quietly) I distinctly remember telling you not to tell him.

JAYE: Technically I didn't. I gave him the bag and he inferred.

Jaye opens the refrigerator and pulls out a beer. She offers it to Mahandra (a peace offering). Mahandra gives her a "I might be pregnant stupid" look.

JAYE (CONT'D): Sorry.

She grabs a bottle of water and hands it to her. Mahandra walks back to the table. Jaye takes two beers out of the refrigerator and follows her. Aaron is sitting at the table studying the instructions on the pregnancy test intently. Mahandra slams the water down on the table.

MAHANDRA: What are you doing?

AARON: Reading the instructions.

MAHANDRA: Please, I know how to take a pregnancy test. It's not like it's the fir--

She notices Jaye and Aaron staring at her with raised eyebrows.

MAHANDRA (CONT'D): I had a roommate in college who was very active.

AARON: Uh huh.

JAYE: (sotto) What was her name again?

MAHANDRA: (sotto) Shut up.

Mahandra snatches the test from Aaron and walks to the bathroom. Aaron and Jaye follow. Mahandra stops at the door. They bump into her. She spins around.

MAHANDRA (CONT'D): I don't need any help.

Before they can respond, she slams the door in their faces. Jaye hands one of the beers in her hand to Aaron. They walk back to the table.

AARON: So, how long have you known about this?

JAYE: Ten minutes before I called you.

AARON: She didn't want you to call me?

JAYE: No.

AARON: But you did.

JAYE: Yep.

AARON: What told you to?

JAYE: Horse on a box of condoms.

AARON: Ironic.

JAYE: I noticed.

The phone rings.

JAYE (CONT'D): I gotta get that.

Aaron nods and begins to pace. Jaye walks over to the kitchen counter and grabs the phone.

JAYE (CONT'D): Hello?

ERIC: (on phone) Hey. How's everything going over there?

JAYE: Fine.

ERIC: Any news yet?

JAYE: Nope. We're still waiting.

ERIC: (on phone) How's Mahandra holding up? Less crazy I hope.

JAYE: Aaron's here now. I think that's helping.

Aaron walks to the bathroom door.

AARON: Everything okay in there?

MAHANDRA (O.S.): If you don't get away from this door I will hurt you!

AARON: Alright! Alright!

Aaron doesn't leave. He puts his ear to the bathroom door. Something loud and heavy hits the door from inside the bathroom. Aaron is knocked back a little. He rubs the side of his face.

JAYE: Well, now he's not helping so much with the crazy.

The bathroom door opens and Mahandra steps out.

JAYE (CONT'D): Gotta go, bye.

She hangs up the phone and rushes over to Mahandra. Aaron has his hand on his face.

AARON: Ow.

MAHANDRA: Good.

JAYE: So?

MAHANDRA: What? It takes three minutes for the results.

Mahandra grabs her water off the table and takes a sip. Aaron begins to pace. He wipes his sweaty brow.

MAHANDRA (CONT'D): You okay?

AARON: Yeah, but are you hot? It's a little stuffy in here.

Jaye pokes him in the face with her index finger and then wipes it on his shirt.

JAYE: He's all clammy.

AARON: Maybe I should get some air.

MAHANDRA: Maybe you should.

Mahandra shoos him away.

MAHANDRA (CONT'D): Your clamminess is making me nauseous.

Aaron leaves the trailer looking quite pale. Mahandra sits at the table. Jaye sits across from her.

JAYE: I was wondering when he was going to crack.

MAHANDRA: He held up a lot longer than I expected. How are you?

JAYE: I'm only moderately freaking out. Mostly, just glad it's not me.

MAHANDRA: Thanks.

JAYE: Sorry. This is your crisis. You shouldn't be asking about me. I should be consoling you.

MAHANDRA: That'd be a first.

JAYE: I know. But Aaron being here seems to be helping you. See, you're not a crazy person anymore.

MAHANDRA: Yeah, having someone more crazy than you around tends to do that.

JAYE: You are talking about Aaron right?

MAHANDRA: Sure. Now what's up with you?

JAYE: Well since you asked, I am having a small problem.

Mahandra gets up and walks over to the microwave. She sets the timer for two minutes.

MAHANDRA: Is it animal or human?

JAYE: Human. (suspiciously) Why would I have animal problems? What has Aaron told you?

MAHANDRA: Nothing. It's just that you get along with animals just as well as with humans. So it was a toss up between the two.

JAYE: (still suspicious) Uh huh.

She walks over to Mahandra.

JAYE (CONT'D): It's Eric. Well me and Eric and us kissing on my bed.

MAHANDRA: Go on.

JAYE: The kissing was good. Then it seemed like we would, you know --

MAHANDRA: Have hot butt-naked sex?

JAYE: To put it bluntly, yes.

MAHANDRA: But you didn't?

JAYE: (obviously disappointed) No.

MAHANDRA: What's keeping you from coital bliss?

JAYE: I'm not sure exactly _what_ it is.

Mahandra looks around and notices the collection of muses.

MAHANDRA: Maybe it's your décor.

She sways side to side.

MAHANDRA (CONT'D): Everywhere I move it feels like I'm being watchedand judged.

JAYE: You have no idea.

MAHANDRA: Switch playing fields.

JAYE: What?

MAHANDRA: Get away from all the creepy animal faces and do it at his place.

JAYE: Good idea.

MAHANDRA: First time Aaron and I did it was at his place.

JAYE: (horrified) You had sex in my parents' house?

MAHANDRA: In _his _room. (quietly) Mostly.

JAYE: Ew. I'm never going in Aaron's room again.

MAHANDRA: Might not want to sit on the sofa either.

JAYE: Oh my God!

Mahandra laughs. The timer on the microwave beeps.

MAHANDRA: (suddenly serious) Oh my God.

Jaye walks to her front door and opens it.

JAYE: Aaron!

Aaron follows Jaye into the trailer. He is noticeably calmer than before.

JAYE (CONT'D): It's time.

Mahandra walks to the bathroom door. She stands in front of it wringing her hands.

MAHANDRA: I cant' do it. I can't look.

Aaron walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her. Jaye fades into the background. She sits at the table.

AARON: You don't have to. I'll do it.

MAHANDRA: I don't want you to look either.

Aaron laughs softly.

AARON: Somebody has to or we'll never know.

MAHANDRA: Jaye!

Jaye jumps up.

JAYE: What? (whiny) Me?

Mahandra nods.

JAYE (CONT'D): Oh no. I've done my best friend duties for the day. I bought the test and I called the boyfriend.

MAHANDRA: (pleading) Jaye.

JAYE: I don't want to.

MAHANDRA: (teary) Please.

Jaye starts to get a little choked up herself.

JAYE: Don't do that. When you get all weepy, I get weepy too.

MAHANDRA: Then go look.

JAYE: Fine. I will.

Jaye walks to the bathroom door. She hesitates a moment before turning the knob and going in.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: THANK YOU MCKAY1 AND FLAME31 FOR YOUR REVIEWS. FOR YOU I'LL WRITE AGAIN.

Welcome to my first Wonderfalls Fanfic. Please leave lots of reviews. If this receives a warm welcome there will be other stories to follow. This story takes place about a month after the episode _Caged Bird._

This is written in screenplay format with a little modifications to make it easier to read.

BTW: SOTTO - means the line is spoken very softly to themselves or another character.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to others who are not me. There is no intention of copyright infringement. I just want to have fun with characters from a show I miss terribly.

INT - JAYE'S BATHROOM

Jaye steps into the bathroom and closes the door.

JAYE: Here goes.

She walks up to the sink where the pregnancy test sits. She picks up the box and reads it.

JAYE (CONT'D): Okay, one line not pregnant, two linespregnant.

She takes a deep breath and reaches for the test. A mermaid on a bottle of shampoo animates.

MERMAID: (sings) Don't tell.

JAYE: Who sang that?

Jaye picks up stuff looking for the source of the song. She spins the bottle of shampoo around to reveal the mermaid. The mermaid bats her eyes and starts to sing.

MERMAID: Don't tell.

JAYE: Alright Ariel. Don't tell who, what? You're gonna have to be a little more specific if you want me to do your bidding.

MERMAID: (sings) Don't tell.

JAYE: I don't have time for this.

She turns the bottle so the mermaid is no longer facing her.

JAYE (CONT'D): I'm in the middle of a situation here. Now is not the time to be talking to thingsthat --

She looks down at the pregnancy test and sees two lines (pregnant).

JAYE (CONT'D): Oh my God!

The mermaid swims around the bottle and faces Jaye again.

MERMAID: (sings) Don't tell.

Jaye looks at the mermaid. She is incredulous.

JAYE: Don't tell? You're talking about Mahandra and Aaron, aren't you? How can you ask me to do that?

MERMAID: (sings) Don't tell.

JAYE: Listen fish lady, this is where I draw the line. We are talking about my brother and my best friend. I can't keep this from them.

Jaye heads to the door. The bear on a package of Charmin toilet paper animates and speaks in a very deep melodic voice.

CHARMIN BEAR: Shut it!

JAYE: Oh great. Now I'm being double teamed.

INT - JAYE'S TRAILER "LIVINGROOM"

Aaron is sitting on a chair. Mahandra is in his lap.

MAHANDRA: What the hell is she doing in there?

AARON: Okay now this is just ridiculous.

Aaron gets up and gently lifts Mahandra off his lap and sits her in the chair. Aaron stands in front of the bathroom door.

AARON (CONT'D): What is taking you so long!

JAYE (O.S.): I'll be out in a minute!

AARON: Come on! How hard could it be to read a pregnancy test.

He looks back at Mahandra.

MAHANDRA: One line negative, two lines positive.

Aaron turns back around to the bathroom door.

AARON: Two lines she's pregnant, one line she's not!

JAYE (O.S.): I just want to make sure I'm reading it right.

Aaron looks at Mahandra.

MAHANDRA: She's your sister.

AARON: But you're the one that sent her in there.

INT - JAYE'S BATHROOM

Jaye kneels on the floor. She is face to face with the Charmin Bear.

JAYE: You cannot play with people's lives like this. Tell me, what good will it do humanity. How does not telling them they're pregnant benefit the greater good?

She looks between the mermaid and the bear. No one speaks.

JAYE (CONT'D): Silence. That's just great.

She heads for the door again. This time the mermaid and bear sing together in harmony. They repeat:

MERMAID: Don't tell.

CHARMIN BEAR: Shut it!

Jaye stops at the door and turns around.

JAYE: What is this a musical now?

The muses stop singing. Jaye looks at them.

JAYE (CONT'D): I'm still telling.

The muses take a deep breath and start singing again. Jaye opens the bathroom door and walks out.

INT - JAYE'S TRAILER "LIVINGROOM"

Jaye comes out of the bathroom. She shuts the door, muffling the sound of the singing muses. Aaron lifts Mahandra off his lap and they stand in front of Jaye.

JAYE: (a little grossed out) Were you just sitting on his lap?

Mahandra snaps her fingers in front of Jaye's face.

MAHANDRA: Focus Jaye. The test results.

JAYE: Yeah, that.

From somewhere in the back of the trailer the wax lion can be heard counting down.

WAX LION (O.S.): A, 5, 6,7 8...

All the muses in the trailer begin to sing a harmonic jazz version of Don't tell! and Shut it! Jaye stands in front of Aaron and Mahandra with a blank expression on her face.

AARON: Jaye!

MAHANDRA: Now is really not the time for a dramatic pause.

JAYE: (defeated) Okay. The test was negative. You're not pregnant.

The muses stop singing. Aaron immediately hoots and rejoices.

MAHANDRA: (disbelieving) What?

Jaye walks up to her.

JAYE: That wasn't the reaction I expected from you. What's going on?

Mahandra shakes her head. Jaye walks over to Aaron and smacks him on the arm.

MAHANDRA: Jaye, no.

Aaron immediately stops rejoicing.

AARON: What?

JAYE: Not everyone shares your joy.

She motions to Mahandra. He walks over to her.

AARON: You're not happy, why aren't you happy?

MAHANDRA: (unconvincingly) I am. Whew what a relief.

JAYE: (to Aaron) She's not happy.

AARON: I know. (to Mahandra) Wait a minute. Did you want it to be positive?

MAHANDRA: No?

Aaron has a goofy grin on his face. He looks at Mahandra.

MAHANDRA (CONT'D): What?

AARON: You wanted to have my baby!

MAHANDRA: Really not necessary to say it that loud.

Aaron starts to pace and mumble incoherently to himself. Mahandra sits down. Jaye sits beside her.

JAYE: You want to have his baby?

Mahandra shrugs. Aaron stops pacing and makes a dramatic turn to face Jaye and Mahandra.

AARON: Now we have to do it the right way.

He returns to pacing and mumbling. Jaye and Mahandra look at each other.

JAYE: Right way? What's the right way?

MAHANDRA: (directed to Aaron) I want to know what was so wrong with how we were doing it before.

JAYE: Oh, _that_ it. (she's a little disgusted) No, you can't do that. Well, not here anyway.

Aaron stops pacing and turns to them.

AARON: The right way, with flowers, candles, rings a church, and then the babies.

Mahandra stands up.

MAHANDRA: Uh, babiessss! Wait a minute, are you proposing?

Jaye stands up beside her.

JAYE: (shocked) Are you proposing!

Mahandra looks at her.

MAHANDRA: Would you stop.

JAYE: Stop what?

MAHANDRA: That little parrot thing you're doing.

JAYE: What little parrot -- oh, sorry.

Jaye shuts her mouth and sits back down. Mahandra directs her attention back to Aaron.

MAHANDRA: (a little angry) Are you proposing?

Aaron takes a step back from her and holds up his hands.

AARON: Whoa. Only if you're going to say yes.

MAHANDRA: Okay.

AARON: Okay!

MAHANDRA: No, not okay okay. Just okay.

She takes a deep breath.

MAHANDRA (CONT'D): Let's backup a second. Emotions have been running a little high today. I don't want you to regret this tomorrow.

AARON: I wont.

MAHANDRA: But it was a spur of the moment thing. And things like this shouldn't be done in spurs they--

He walks up close to her and grabs her hands.

AARON: It's not the first time I thought about asking. It's not even the second or third. But in my little fantasy you say yes.

MAHANDRA: What if I am?

AARON: Well I guess I'm asking you to marry me then.

Mahandra smiles up at him. He cannot resist leaning down and placing several soft kisses on her smiling lips.

MAHANDRA: (breathlessly) Yes.

AARON: Yes?

MAHANDRA: Yes.

Jaye jumps out of her seat.

JAYE: Yes!

She quickly covers her mouth with her hands. Mahandra and Aaron do not notice her outburst. They are too busy with the kissing. The brass monkey sits on a shelf in the corner. Jaye walks over to it.

JAYE (CONT'D): Can I tell them now?

BRASS MONKEY: No.

JAYE: Look at how happy they are. Come on, can you honestly tell me there is a good reason not to?

BRASS MONKEY: Yes.

JAYE: Care to tell?

BRASS MONKEY: No.

JAYE: You're going to keep your little monkey trap shut, aren't you?

BRASS MONKEY: Yes.

Jaye grunts in frustration.

JAYE: I gotta tell somebody something before I burst.

She tiptoes over to the phone and picks it up. She begins to dial. Mahandra breaks away from the kissing and spots Jaye.

MAHANDRA: What are you doing?

JAYE: Nothing?

Jaye puts the phone down. She does her best to look very innocent.

AARON: Who were you calling?

JAYE: Oh please, you gotta let me tell mom. You can tell everyone else.

Jaye picks up the phone again.

JAYE (CONT'D): Ooh, maybe Sharon will be there too. That'll be good.

Aaron walks over and snatches the phone from her.

AARON: You're not telling mom or Sharon.

JAYE: Come on. I can just see mom's face. She'll probably do that thing where her eyebrow starts twitching. She might even have a stroke.

Mahandra joins them.

MAHANDRA: Your mom loves me. She wouldn't--

She smacks Aaron on the arm.

MAHANDRA (CONT'D): I thought you said she still loves me.

AARON: Ow. She does. Jaye's just--

He does the cuckoo gesture with his finger. Jaye smacks him on the other arm.

JAYE: I'm not crazy.

Mahandra and Aaron look at her.

JAYE: Whatever. (to Mahandra) Yeah, mom loved you when you were just the best friend and then the girlfriend. But now you're going to be the wife and steal her precious baby boy away.

MAHANDRA: I told you she hates your girlfriends.

Aaron puts the phone down and wraps his arms around Mahandra.

AARON: But you're different.

Jaye takes the opportunity to quietly grab the phone again while they kiss.

MAHANDRA: (between kisses and without turning around) Put it down Jaye.

Jaye slams the phone down. She starts to speak. All of the muses, seen and unseen, in the trailer animate and yell.

MUSES: Shut it!

Jaye jumps.

THE END (WELL AT LEAST FOR THIS PART ANYWAY)


End file.
